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Joke of the Day

"Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites? New Jersey picked first."

"My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves."

"Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got alzheimers."

"I'm boycotting 50 Shades of Grey because it perpetuates the stereotype that men can change."

"I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert."

"My calling in life went straight to voicemail."

"Why is F-time so much fun? Because F-time is Part-E time."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He tried to drink tea before it was cool."

"Yo Mama's so fat that when she sits on the beach whales swim up to her and sing ""We are family...!"""

"Someone Stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. You have my Word"