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Joke of the Day

"My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves."

"I have a time machine for sale. If interested, call me two weeks ago."

"Why don't pc gamers get laid Because they're micro-soft"

"What does a cue ball and a mexican have in common? The harder you hit them, the more english you get out out of them."

"TIL 78% of statistics are made up on the spot"

"Knock on your neighbors door and ask if they've seen your cat. When they say no pull your cat out of your pocket and make the introductions"

"I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme."

"What's the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist? They both work with crust."

"I was shopping for shoes for my imaginary friend He was a size 10i"

"Dear guy sitting next to me at the bar wearing camouflage: I can still see you."