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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you play UNO with Mexicans? They'll steal all of the green cards."
Next Joke
"I sleep like a baby at night, rarely and with short bursts of crying and pooping, sometimes both"
"Bf and I are on 2 completely different emotional planes right now. Work faster, whiskey."
"What's a feminist's favorite rapper? Feminem"
"My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization."
"Celine Dion is an organ donor... So when she dies, her heart will go on."
"I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over"
"How do you get a Jewish girls number? Check her wrists."
"So, I friended Paul Walker on XBox. Sadly though, he's always on the dashboard."
"Why is there no Windows 9? Because 7 8 9."