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Joke of the Day

"""Would you like to put your hand deep into this hole"" - Pokemon I know it says no outside links but it's necessary cause it's a screenshot of a poorly phrased event in Pokemon http://imgur.com/a/Zt8X6"

"How do you turn your girlfriend into an angry pirate? Cum in a her eye and kick her in the shin."

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish."

"When I said that you'd always have a place to stay in rough times, I meant like a motel or a shelter. Anyway ... You can't stay here."

"What do you call pasta in a poor neighborhood? Spaghetto"

"Life is like a dick pic... Sometimes you get things you don't ask for."

"How Am I Doing? I'll Tell You How I'm Doing Volumes: 1-8"

"""You spend far too much time on that fucking computer."" Possibly a bit harsh, but as one of Stephen Hawking's closest friends, I felt someone had to tell him."

"I like to steal other peoples' Viagra... It's a real dick move, I know."

"Prostitute Pony What did the prostitue pony where on its hooves? Whore shoes. Ok, I'll stop:("