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Joke of the Day

"When I said that you'd always have a place to stay in rough times, I meant like a motel or a shelter. Anyway ... You can't stay here."

"Who has the best website in the jungle? The Onlion King."

" Metric dollar."

"What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson? "" I ain't Willie Nelson."""

"Did you hear about Apple's new product? It was a big 6s"

"Thank you all for the Happy Birthday wishes!!! Had a GREAT DAY!!! (didn't read a single one)"

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing they're both stuck up bitches."

"For some silly reason my daughter has some sort of crazy idea about losing her hair... I overheard her on the phone the other day telling her best friend that she hoped she'd be 'balled' soon"

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of panty hose? 2 calves, an ass, a beaver, a shitload of hares, 1 camel toe and a fish nobody can find."

"What is H.P. Lovecraft's cook book called? The Necronomnomnomicon."