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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between someone who worships God & someone who worships the sun? The sun exists."

"I do yoga so I can dress myself when I'm single."

"How do you stop an angry elephant from charging ? Take away it's credit cards !"

"I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name... I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name Of Cleopatra, I straightaway laid claim. Ahead of my legions, she conquered my regions, I saw, I conquered, I came."

"Did you hear about the shipment of Viagra that was stolen? Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals."

"My girlfriend got her car smogged, and suddenly I wondered about Middle-earth; Do Hobbits ever need to Smaug their cars?"

"New studies show 9/10 people enjoy gang rape."

"I'm so patriotic; I piss red, white, and blue. My doctor told me it was pancreatic cancer. I told him to shut his commie mouth!"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a prostitute? You can order one of them without mushrooms."

"HOW I DRESS FOR UNIVERSITY First day of the week: brad pitt Last day of the week: homeless druggie"