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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the shipment of Viagra that was stolen? Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals."

"Recently started working with homosexuals, I'm having a hard time dealing with the sticky mess. But they insist I style my hair using gel to appear more professional."

"My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish."

"I was so shocked when my girlfriend called me a lazy piece of shit in Walmart the other day that I almost fell off my motorized scooter."

"I just watched Discovery's ""How It's Made"" and, honestly, I'm never eating another urinal cake again."

"What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue? You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish ""What about the glue?"" I knew you'd get stuck on that."

"I like my women exactly how I like my pet. I like both to be horse!"

"What do you call a werewolf that knows it's a werewolf? A self-awarewolf."

"Why do pencils shave? To look sharp"

"Why do gay pirates always fight each other? They are always trying to get to the others booty"