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Joke of the Day

"I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name... I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name Of Cleopatra, I straightaway laid claim. Ahead of my legions, she conquered my regions, I saw, I conquered, I came."

"I just stopped by the Apple store to use the restroom. iPeed."

"Just bought a book ""Jokes about Captain Obvious"". It's full of Captain Obvious jokes."

"I've decided to make an all-natural shampoo made from roots found in Africa. I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing."

"My wife says she hates domestic abuse So I now do my crunches outside the house"

"Slowly crawl towards your sleeping dog, put your face directly next to its face, and whisper ""I know it's been you shitting in my yard."""

"Apparently, Engineers talk how Doctors write"

"weekend plans: -solitude -cheese"

"Teacher: What is the unit of energy? Students: Yes!"

"My mom just took away my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about it."