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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend got her car smogged, and suddenly I wondered about Middle-earth; Do Hobbits ever need to Smaug their cars?"

Next Joke
 
"Someone shit in your fridge? Well get a new family"
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"Earlier I joked that Toronto was the capital of Canada. ""Joked"" being the operative word. Everyone knows only real countries have capitals."
"[my 1st day at press conference sign language translator job I lied on my resume to get] ME: *does Madonna's Vogue choreography for 45 min*"
"A whorehouse got burned down today... Some came out running, and some ran out cummimg."
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