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Joke of the Day

"I went to the zoo... I went to the zoo yesterday and I was disappointed to see the only animal they had was a single dog. It's a shih tzu."

"How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead..."

"Just found this hillarious joke I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"What do Donald Trump and his chromosomes have in common? There is one too many of them."

"When I say to my kids ""sit here and watch cartoons"" they hear ""come and bug me while I am trying to take naughty pictures for daddy."""

"A husband and wife are fighting. The wife says ""You've got the smallest penis I've ever seen!"" The husband shoots back ""Then we're a perfect fit for each other, cause you're a shallow cunt!"""

"How do you kill a fox? Cut off one leg and drag it across Canada."

"Why is the symbols row of my keyboard swearing at me"

"How do you get a whale off a beach? A whale-barrow!"

"What do you call an egotistical anorexic? A selfie stick."