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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a whale off a beach? A whale-barrow!"

"Pro tip for picking up girls - keep your back straight and lift with your knees."

"No officer the joke's on you. That breathalyzer will never tell you how much acid I dropped tonight."

"What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms!"

"The trick that will stop you from crying every time you cut an onion- Stop getting so damned attached to onions."

"The Daffy Dictionary Straw Poll (n.) Something you find on an aroused scarecrow."

"A pakistani food company is launching a new product... Its called, Allahu Snackbar"

"I went to a placenta party the other day... the cervix was terrible."

"A woman never wakes up her second baby just to see it smile."

"At best, I think I could be a Third Responder."