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Joke of the Day

"When I say to my kids ""sit here and watch cartoons"" they hear ""come and bug me while I am trying to take naughty pictures for daddy."""

"Why did the pillow cross the road? Because it was cooler on the other side."

"During a prison break, I saw a midget climb the fence of the prison yard. As he jumped down, he sneered at me... I thought to myself, ""well, that was a little con-descending."""

"For weeks I thought my neighbor was keeping his car under one of those car covers. As it turns out, it was just his old car's ghost."

"How do u find an old man in the dark? Its not that hard"

"How often do Chinese people have elections? When they wake up every morning."

"What's something that you can catch but not throw? feelings. T.T"

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? ...right where you put it."

"What's so good about living in Switzerland? Not sure but the flag's a big plus."

"What do you call a smelly Hobbit? Frodor."