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Joke of the Day

"Where do some popes get their vestments? Urban Outfitters"

"A baby seal walks into a club... and is escorted outside due to being underage. (Sorry if this is a repost, I've never seen this joke here before.)"

"What sound does a Hispanic pacman make? Guac-a Guac-a!"

"I was called a village idiot today which really upset me. I live in a city."

"Everyone seems worried about global warming and world hunger... ...but the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text."

"STEP UP? Ive got a step ladder,I never really knew my real ladder"

"When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him. That's more my speed."

"How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. But I don't know how they got in there."

"Fun fact about Earth: It is an insane hellworld where a species of ape has harnessed the power of liquefied dead things to destroy itself."

"There are over 1 million battered women in the US. And I've been eating mine plain!"