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Joke of the Day

"Today in 1775, Jane Austen was born. She wrote ""Sense & Sensibility,"" ""Pride & Prejudice,"" and ""Lust & Lunchables."""

"In Soviet Russia, The LSD take you."

"Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich"

"What do you call a depressed gang member? An emoji... Emo g, get it? From my 13 year old son"

"Oscar Pistorius is soon getting out of jail. 10 months without sex, you should hide, ladies. But for the love of God, not in the bathroom."

"What did Hillary Clinton do when her email was hacked? She asked Donald Trump to build a firewall."

"Probably the worst part about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute"

"A pair of fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Hey, we don't serve fonts here!"" But they sat down anyways because they were **bold**."

"How do you pick out the extroverted engineer? He's the one staring at YOUR feet when he talks"

"Ever had sex while camping? It's fucking intents"