51878

Joke of the Day

"Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters."

"So there were these two sisters.. a blonde and a brunette. The brunette goes to her sister and says ""I just fucked a brazilian!"" The blonde replies ""You slut! How many more is that than a million?"""

"Why did the paper follow the pencil? Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! ~Skip"

"Apple once made an iPhone with a headphone jack... It was very 6S-ful"

"My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do... Apparently ""your daughter"" wasn't the right answer."

"Ok so for next Halloween ill be mozart. ""I'll be beethoven!"" Yeah okay, calm down sally. So Mr. Terminator who will you be? ""I'LL BE BACH."""

"The Most Disgusting Joke You'll Ever Hear A young boy was licking out an old lady when all of a sudden he tasted horse cum. He sat up and said ""oh...grandma, so that's how you died"""

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"Why do people keep buying velcro? It's such a ripoff."

"What does Brock Lesnar do if a website isn't loading? He gives it an F5"