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Joke of the Day

"Why did the paper follow the pencil? Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! ~Skip"

"People play air guitar and don't get in trouble so I don't see why I was arrested for wearing air pants."

"What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison."

"Why was Pluto's child unexpected? Because it didn't plan it."

"All of Donald Trump's wives are foreigners... Turns out there really are jobs American's won't do. Source: Mitt Romney's response to an interviewer's question."

"Starting to fear that all the urgent work emails I LOL'd at and deleted earlier were not actually April Fools' jokes."

"I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer."

"Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."

"9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won't tell you what they're wearing."

"What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick"