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Joke of the Day

"Ok so for next Halloween ill be mozart. ""I'll be beethoven!"" Yeah okay, calm down sally. So Mr. Terminator who will you be? ""I'LL BE BACH."""

"A man once said, that i was gay... ...i took his dick out of my mouth and said ""i'll add an extra 5 bucks to the bill for that"""

"What do you call a row of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hairline!"

"[first date] ""What's wrong?"" I don't like the ambulance in this place [sniggering] ""You mean ambience"" [next table] NEE NAW NEE NAW WOOOOOO"

"I had an ex-girlfriend who was rather big, and she possessed an unusual talent; she was ambidextrose - she could polish off a box of chocolates with either hand."

"I thought I saw a pizza in the sexy underwear ad. ...oops, wrong subliminal"

"Damn girl are you a humpback whale? Because you're very deep."

"There's no easy way to steal a watermelon."

"the waiter snuck up on me when i was eating my steak and now i'm all embarrassed 'cause i'm not sure how much to tip someone i just stabbed."

"why did the chicken cross the road 69 ahhahaaha"