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Joke of the Day
"*buys soap on a rope Cashier: Paper or plastic? Me: Neither.. I'll wear it out thanks"
Next Joke
"I like the lack of controversy over the Olympic men's figure skating ""No Need to Ask, We'll Tell!"" policy."
"I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He's going to pay for that later."
"The national bird of Syria is.. ..a drone."
"Doctor Who was still hungry after dinner.... So he went back four seconds."
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... unless you have muscular dystrophy, in which case you most certainly will not."
"Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? A: So she can have a doggie bag for later."
"The man who invented auto-correct has died. May he restaurant in piece."
"Sometimes I like to mix things up by going big and then also going home."
"Eat Chipotle with your hands? Fine. Eat stuff that falls out of it with your hands? Get stared at you like you smeared shit on someone's kid"