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Joke of the Day
"*buys soap on a rope Cashier: Paper or plastic? Me: Neither.. I'll wear it out thanks"
Next Joke
"""First things first I'm the illest. Drop this & let the whole world feel it, and I'm still in the Murda Bizness I could hold you down like I'm givin' lessons in killin' ""-Ebola"
"How do feminists screw in a lightbulb? By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!"
"If I put a cheddar cheese stick in a pencil sharpener Will it come out sharp or shredded?"
"Keep your friends' cake and your enemies' cake."
"Stupid seal at the zoo would not sing ""kiss by a rose."" REFUND!"
"I like Jesus... But he loves me. It's an awkward friendship."
"Sometimes for fun I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they open the door I say ""Hey! Sorry I'm late."""
"My black friends really enjoy hearing my lame jokes. It's almost like they've never been told dad jokes before..."
"Did you hear about the people who were sick in June from eating bacon past its use by date? It was mayhem."