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Joke of the Day

"According to old paintings, there's mad titties in heaven."

"I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire but I've only come up with one: Lying."

"What do you call someone having butt sex with Stephen Hawking? Ingenius"

"What did a Jewish guy do first thing in the morning? Hebrew coffee Go easy on me with this pun."

"What does a blender full of dead babies sound like? I dunno, I was too busy masturbating..."

"The nice thing of living in a small village is that when you don't know what you're doing someone else does."

"Hows Donald Trump gonna get rid of all the Mexicans? Juan by Juan."

"Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One to change it five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light."

"Shakira's hips just told me 9/11 was an inside job and now I don't know what to believe."

"I hate being bi-polar.It's awesome."