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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One to change it five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light."

"Remember ... Jesus died for your Peeps."

"What did people call the Nutty Professor before he became a professor? Mr. Peanut"

"Sometimes when I want to make my girlfriend feel skinny, I just release about 25% of her from the air valve."

"What is the difference? What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail"

"How do you make a hormone? Slap her in the face and refuse to pay her."

"TIL Bill Cosby was staunchly against the laugh track on ""The Cosby Show."" But the studio didn't know what Bill meant by ""snore track."""

"Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There's PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don't enjoy yourself."

"I hate when someone sneaks up in front of you when you're scrolling on your phone"

"I tried cooking with wine for the first time last night ...After 5 glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen."