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Joke of the Day

"There should be a second 'The Ugly Duckling' written Benjamin Button-style for all the cute kids that turn out ugly."

Next Joke
 
"A doctor in a mental hospital was caught having sex with a female patient. He was Fucking Crazy!"
"So the other day I was pressing my clothes But it turned out I had just made even more creases. I was so upset. I guess I couldn't handle the irony."
"Why did the rock band get in serious treble? They failed on a consistent bassist."
"My doctor told me to start killing people. Not in those exact words but he said I needed to reduce my stress. Same thing."
"What do you call an 800 pound gorilla? Anything he wants to be called."
"TWITTER REHAB IS GOING GOOD YOU GUYS I GOT A NEW FRIEND HE HAS SPECIAL SUGAR AND IT'S AWESOME AND MY YARD HAS 3,957,268 BLADES OF GRASS!!!!"
"I have a lot of disdain for anyone in the top 1% who hasn't become Batman."
"Why do stoners love English? Because it's lit"
"What is it called when you ride around on a horse asking people questions? A gallop poll."