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Joke of the Day

"I raised the alarm at work today... The midgets were furious."

"How do you pick up older Spanish women? Hola Seniority"

"Why are people reluctant to eat pudding that is past its expiration date? Because it is off pudding."

"I went to Applebee's for dinner last night Our food was so good that I asked the waitress to bring out the chef, so they brought out the microwave."

"Facebook is telling me to ""reconnect"" with my brother...hmmm, I see him everyday"

"There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away."

"I'm really sorry to hear about Donald Trump Nothing happened to him. I'm just sorry to hear about him."

"What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch? Namaste (better to say it aloud)"

"Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do. Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM! -high fives Socrates-"

"Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups? Hermione went alone and was attacked by a troll"