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Joke of the Day
"I raised the alarm at work today... The midgets were furious."
Next Joke
"That awkward moment when your date says she has a hair piece but later you find out she was saying herpes."
"NSFW At the restaurant, everyone kept calling me a pedophile just because I'm 52 and my wife is 22...... It completely ruined our ten year anniversary dinner."
"Find a way to dress up as ""accidentally liking someone's Facebook picture from 2 years ago"" and really scare people this Halloween."
"Female dogs... Today a female dog tried to talk and play with my dog. He couldn't muster the courage to talk to her.. He didn't have the balls to do it."
"Everybody laughed when I told them I was going to become a comedian They're not laughing now!"
"The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number."
"I have a love/hate relationship with going to extremes."
"What do you call a bird that speaks Spanish? A Si-gull"
"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge."