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Joke of the Day

"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge."

Next Joke
 
"I farted in a room of hipsters... and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first."
"WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS"
"Q: What do you call a snake that makes a lot of noise when it eats? A: A slurpent."
"A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce."
"What's a neckbeard's favorite asian country? M'Laysia"
"What concert costs 45 cents? A concert that costs 45 cents."
"My girlfriend and I are celebrating our anniversary tonight by breaking up six years ago."
"Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion? Anyone can pull them off"
"I repaired my drums after my son broke it... Now he has to deal with the repercussions."