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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car? In a police car, the pricks are on the inside."

"How many amoebae does it take to change a lightbulb one no, two no, four eight, 16, 32...."

"Always respect a woman and never call her a bitch unless, you know, you're telling her to get you a sandwich."

"Optimus Prime signs a contract with the devil He then turns to the autobots. ""Autobots, soul out!"""

"Tweet idea: a funny and popular one"

"A Roman walks into a bar... And he holds up two fingers. ""Five beers, please,"" he asks."

"Mugger: Gimme yer wallet & don't do nuthin dumb Me: That's a double negative, my friend. Unlike Romance languages, English - hey, come back"

"MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice to my mother when she visits us this weekend dear. Fall down when she hits you."

"How does a black girl know she's pregnant? When she takes out her tampon, all of the cotton is picked."

"A man walks up to a woman [NSFW] And he asks the woman If he can pet her pussy. The woman says sure but you'll have to hold My cat."