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Joke of the Day

"You may like your coffee free, but I like mine like I like my women Hot, brown and sweet......and without a penis..."

"I saw Death walking out of my house today... I guess Grandma won. Again."

"My friend told me I don't understand irony.. ...Which is ironic because we were playing checkers."

"I like my women like I like my reality shows.... Naked and afraid."

"What's the difference between a race car and a woman? One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels."

"The way to a man's heart is thru his stomach. At least that's what the crazy woman with the butcher knife kept saying at the murder scene."

"she used to like me. boy: k girl: every kiss begins with k boy: too bad ugly starts with u! girl:... boy: apply cold water to that burn"

"Do you think the guy responsible for squirting water in NFL players' mouths has ""rehydration specialist"" listed on his LinkedIn profile?"

"How do you stop Caitlyn Jenner from jumping on your bed Staple his ballbag to the ceiling. LOL"

"Never judge a book by its cover. Besides, you're on Twitter and don't even read books."