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Joke of the Day

"No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don't Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this."

"Asked my wife if she would be my friend on FB again, she said no. She said my ""funny"" status updates are annoying. Therefore, I must conclude she loves me for my body..."

"Why did u eat it??? A lady was pregnant. Her son asked her ""Mom, What's in u'r tummy?"" Mom answered ""Its a sweet, lovely baby."" Son says, ""If the baby is so sweet and lovely then WHY DID U EAT IT???"""

"Eating spicy food is like expressing your love to someone who has no interest in you... you always get burned in the end."

"Theres this one word I always stumble on when I try to remember it.... oh yeah, the word is forget."

"Dear Grocery store clerk, What part of me searching madly and paying in nickels & dimes suggests I can donate a dollar to the food bank?"

"For the past month I have woken up to find hundreds of flowers with no heads all over my doorstep, garden and drive. I think I'm being stalked."

"Don't steal. That's the government's job."

"As Freud said ""Who cites, needs sex"""

"What do you call the rough parts of Paris? La Ba-ghetto"