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Joke of the Day

"For the past month I have woken up to find hundreds of flowers with no heads all over my doorstep, garden and drive. I think I'm being stalked."

"What's the difference between a Blonde and a person with a different colour of hair? The blonde sure doesn't know."

"Why do vampire's use linux? Because they don't like windows in their house. Ba^Dum^Tss"

"why did no one listen to the wheelchair joke? It had no back story."

"How do you get a faggot to fuck a bitch? You shit in her cunt."

"Flowjob When a woman won't have sex because she's on her period, so she offers you a flowjob."

"At my 16th birthday party, 1 guy came as a bunch of balloons, another as an untouched table of snacks & another came as an empty church hall"

"Wrong hole. No. Still the wrong hole. Only ONE in each hole! Ugh. Here! I'll show you. -Helping my kid put on a swimsuit."

"How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution"

"If you're ovulating and have sex standing up... Is it called a standing ovulation? Asking for a friend"