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Joke of the Day
"Heard about the peanut that walked through Central Park It was a salted."
Next Joke
"Panic rooms are a great way to protect yourself during home invasions or like if you forget your wife's birthday."
"What does a worm do in a cornfield? It goes in one ear and out the other"
"How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One or two? One.. ..Or two?"
"A lot more happened on board the Titanic than you might think. The movie just touched on the tip of the iceberg."
"it's ridiculous to estimate the size of a man's weiner by looking at his hands or feet. just ask him to show you. if it's small, he won't."
"Got passed by a guy with a ponytail riding a moped so no I'm not ok."
"What do you call a communist who's good with a rifle? A marxman."
"Kids - there is no Santa. Those gifts were from your parents. Happy New Year from Wikileaks"
"Me: Let's go to Chipotle Justin: Hold on. My leg is asleep Me: *whispering* Oh, sorry. Let's go to Chipotle"