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Joke of the Day

"Me: Let's go to Chipotle Justin: Hold on. My leg is asleep Me: *whispering* Oh, sorry. Let's go to Chipotle"

"I'm gaining weight for my role as ""'Before' picture"""

"What's the difference between humor and odor? Humor is a shift of wit."

"Why did the entrepreneur decide to go into the landfill business? He heard it was a growing field."

"Considering how badly Asians drive, I got to thinking. Maybe Pearl Harbor was an accident."

"What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail? ""That's the end of me!"""

"Why isn't Sonic the Hedgehog Muslim? Because once Ramadan is over, he can't stop fasting!"

"What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7? They both suffered the loss of one very important port."

"Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough"

"I should make a gym that only accepts fat people I would get tons of business, tons"