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Joke of the Day

"Got passed by a guy with a ponytail riding a moped so no I'm not ok."

"The Pope is resigning... They say he's hearing imaginary voices from the sky.... and he also wants to retire."

"What are feminists best at in mathematics? TRIGGER-nometry"

"Dear XBOX Kinect If I wanted to use my whole body to play sports, I'd play sports."

"[Confessional Booth] Me: I can't do anything right. Priest: Please get off of my lap."

"They won't admit the Egypt flight crashed... ...because they're all in *da nile.*"

"I tried making jokes about people who don't go to the gym... ...but none of them worked out."

"A man walks into a bar with an apple on his head, and the bartender asks ""Why do you have a pear on your head?"" He replies, ""It's not a peach, it's a plum!"""

"Time flies when you wake up at noon."

"Some relationships are like farts, sooner or latter you gonna have to let it go!"