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Joke of the Day

"Panic rooms are a great way to protect yourself during home invasions or like if you forget your wife's birthday."

"What do you say when you are comforting a grammar Nazi? there, their, they're."

"Whoever said Obama never created any jobs... Obviously has never heard of Isis"

"Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. -History"

"I saw a black guy running from my home with a television I think to myself "" Isn't that mine ?"" Then i realized "" Nope, mine is at home picking cottons """

"Why were the police at the day care? Because some of the two-year-olds were resisting a rest."

"""Steak and Shake"" great burgers and also a good way to kill baby vampires."

"I found a butterfly without wings... So I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... It drowned."

"Sorry I booped your nose during your meltdown .."

"Got my wife an educational toy. It's a dildo that speaks Spanish. Rapido Rapido Rapido."