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Joke of the Day
"My friend said I'm racist. But I'm not racist, I have one black friend."
Next Joke
"When I know I've posted a great tweet, I walk away from my phone in slow motion like I'm Jason Statham walking from an explosion."
"What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !"
"Is your name Malaysian Airlines? Cause baby, i'm lost in you."
"CAT: Can u check my blood pressure? DR DOG: *places cuff around cat's neck* Sure CAT: Shouldnt that go on m- DR DOG: *inflating cuff* Ssshhh"
"It's my mom's personal mission in life to save me 20% on all my purchases by clipping out and giving me every coupon known to mankind."
"Judge: order in the court, ORDER IN THE COURT Me on the witness stand:*lips pressed against the mic* 2 hot dogs and a milkshake, your honor"
"I hate gaining ten pounds for a role And then realising I'm not an actor."
"[Fear Factor] HOST: and the first contestant to touch the puppy in front of them will be sent home *camera pans to me already holding puppy*"
"What's used to calculate binomial coefficients and eaten on Passover? A Paschal Triangle!"