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Joke of the Day

"I hate gaining ten pounds for a role And then realising I'm not an actor."

"Who was the most famous pirate octopus? Captain Squid!"

"So i went to the zoo the other day, but there was only 1 animal there. It was a Shih Tzu"

"What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed ? Out of the way !"

"Why do some blondes have bruised belly buttons? Because there are blond guys too."

"if you're ever running late just bring a huge glass of milk along and be drinking it noisily as you walk in and no one will say shit to you"

"If I pour superglue into a non-stick frying pan, somebody is going to be wrong, right?"

"""Try again, dumbass"" - the little red line under your misspelled word"

"I like my men like I like my coffee black, ground up and in the freezer."

"During a recent study, almost 95% of participants preferred exercise to sex. Because they all ran away when I offered."