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Joke of the Day

"[Fear Factor] HOST: and the first contestant to touch the puppy in front of them will be sent home *camera pans to me already holding puppy*"

"Wait. I thought Fifty Shades of Grey was just a coloring book for dogs."

"Why are pills white? Because they work."

"A Roman walk into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says, ""5 drinks, please!"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anne Boleyn ! Anne Boleyn who ? Anne Boleyn alley !"

"I will read that article on how procrastination can kill me As soon as I get around to it."

"I got fired on my first day as a paramedic for trying to revive everyone with true love's first kiss."

"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a deck of cards Just sit down and I'll deal with you later"

"A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies ""No I'm traveling light"""

"The boiled water died It shall be mist"