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Joke of the Day

"[Fear Factor] HOST: and the first contestant to touch the puppy in front of them will be sent home *camera pans to me already holding puppy*"

"I wouldn't say I ""missed"" your call."

"What do you call a pool full of details? The specific ocean."

"You can tell a lot about a person during the opening of Queen's ""Under Pressure"" depending on how bummed they are it's not ""Ice Ice Baby""."

"What's ET's first name? Spag."

"worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost"

"Did you say that you fell over fifty feet but didn't hurt yourself? Yes - I was trying to get to the back of the bus."

"Why didn't Jesus cross the road? Because you can't cross a road when your nailed to a cross"

"Take me down to Orion city... where the girls are green and the grass is pretty."

"Farmer What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where's my tractor?"""