51290
Joke of the Day
"For Sale: Starter motor for Perpetual Motion Machine. Only used once."
Next Joke
"Couldn't figure out how to set up my stereo system, so I called my dad... He gave me some sound advice."
"Why yes, I am watching a documentary about Marie Antoinette and enjoying it. Could it be because I'm straight fucking gangster? Perhaps."
"Expecting your guy to be romantic all the time is like expecting you to behave like a porn star all the time."
"What's the best way to reheat turkey? Nuke it."
"Naked and Afraid but it's just you in someone else's bathroom with a toilet that won't flush"
"I bet the bear from The Revenant would have been nominated for an Oscar... If he was a Polar bear"
"Always trust people who like big butts. They cannot lie."
"What do you call an angry prostitute? Whoremonal."
"You give a few pot heads a bunch of weed and nothing to smoke out of and suddenly they all become engineers. It's amazing."