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Joke of the Day

"CW: what did you do to your hair today? Me: It's really unclear whether you think it's good or you think I slept in a ditch."

"What does a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets."

"My wife can't stand to be around me ever since I retired from voicing Winnie-the-Pooh She says I am becoming unbearable."

"Why did the detective wear a patch on his left eye? It's his private eye."

"A man walks into a bar, and orders 10 times the amount of drinks as everyone else. The barman says ""now *that's* an order of magnitude!"""

"What does a mermaid wear to math class An algae-bra I'm not sorry"

"Man, I really messed up making this award for best feline anus... It's a cat ass trophy."

"Whats hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before.... A Key"

"What happens when you throw a green stone into the Red Sea? It gets wet."

"For some reason, I'm not in The Guinness Book of Records. Even though I was *definitely* the first person ever to touch my penis."