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Joke of the Day

"I hope you're using all the time you save by saying ""totes"" instead of a ""totally"" to learn a trade."

"TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask Whoops, wrong sub"

"What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering."

"""Just how serious are you about keeping me as a customer?"" *slides hand across table to take a second promotional pen"

"My uncle found the g-spot once... ...he tells people he lost those two fingers in the war."

"Did you hear that Trump said he'd eliminate food safety regulations? It's the only way they can bring Trump steaks back."

"Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast? Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some? Son: NO. I hate casserole. Me (whispers): I know..."

"Some guy told me he could get 10 times as many women as I do Joke's on him, 10 times zero is still zero."

"What tastes great on pie but bad on pussy? Crust"

"No matter where you live, there's always 1 light switch that doesn't do anything."