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Joke of the Day
"No matter where you live, there's always 1 light switch that doesn't do anything."
Next Joke
"What do you call a bear that can't win? A Chicago Bear"
"""Squad goals,"" I said, aloud, to nobody, as two rats helped each other move an entire bagel into a hole in the subway tracks"
"If you shout ""I am a STRONG BLACK woman"" in front of the mirror enough times then security comes and drags you out of the Gap changing room."
"How do you confuse one whom is gay? Seven"
"In my day cartoons made sense. Chipmunks did all the rescue rangering and a rich duck swam in gold coins like they were water"
"I'm not saying my mates wife is fat or anything but in February she starts working in Ibiza Selling shade."
"A Spanish family surprised me by treating me to dinner. x-post /r/unexpectedcena"
"*wears a tuxedo tshirt to interview as a joke* McDonald's Manager: Oh wow, are you from corporate?"
"Just heard local reports of a stalker, which is funny because I watch everyone through their windows and none of them look suspicious"