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Joke of the Day
"What does Donald Trump say after sex? I'm **President**"
Next Joke
"What are the three rings of marriage? The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and then the suffering"
"*Snowman wakes up in hospital* ""What happened to me?!"" Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did?"
"White House Update: Dick Cheney extends hunting invitation to Trump Nope. Sorry. Just kidding. Edit: buncha scrubs keep downvoting my hilarious joke."
"god: go to earth jesus: why god: i have a plan jesus: is it a nice plan god: it's a plan"
"I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don't understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper."
"And for my next trick I'll be pulling the rug from under your feet ~Life"
"Knock Knock ..."
"""Try it, it's so good!"" ""Come on, man. Just a taste."" ""I'm having some. Mmmm."" ""Trust me."" Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer."
"I've been saying I'll sleep when I'm dead for so long, I'm starting to really look forward to dying."