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Joke of the Day

"I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don't understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper."

"[NSFW] If sex with three people is a threesome And sex with two people is a twosome... Then I get why some people call me handsome."

"When I become famous... I want to get a huge marble bust made in my image. But I'm getting ahead of myself."

"What do you call a chat site for terrorists? Allahu Chatbar."

"I think I promised to have 3 beers and be home by 10 Sorry honey, I always get those 2 mixed up."

"There Once Was A Poet Named Bates His poems weren't always first rate, His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had, Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line."

"My son keeps talking to me in binary even though I ask him not to. What kind of boy is he? A noughty one."

"What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas ? Ince pies !"

"I got fired from my job at the sperm bank. I guess you can't keep saying ""Get a load of this guy"" every time someone walks in."

"a hot girl asked me what came first, the chicken or the egg? I answered truthfully "" it's usually me""."