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Joke of the Day
"What's the most trifling thing about divorce when you have kids? Child custardy"
Next Joke
"How many nymphomaniacs does it take to screw in a light-bulb? As many as will fit."
"My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. -Milton Jones"
"I hope I'm never involved in a long trial, mostly because I only own one suit."
"[first date] DATE: I think cat people are psychopaths ME: *slowly pushes date's coffee off table*"
"[normal life] ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for vacation] hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats...32 shirts"
"I cannot even fathom how deep the snow is back east! Get my drift?"
"How does the Catholic Church make their holy water? They boil the hell out of it."
"I love my girlfriend, but... My wife hates her!"
"All these Email scams must make it hard for Legitimate Nigerian Royalty to share large sums of cash with strangers!"