51017

Joke of the Day

"[at the mall] ""I've lost my son. Can you make an announcement for me?"" ""Sure, what's his name?"" ""Xander."" ""See, that's why he ran off."""

"Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out the window? *Tequila*"

"Why weren't the eggplants allowed into the mushroom party? Because there wasn't much room and they aren't fun guys."

"I can't wait to stick my descriptive adjective all up in your noun until you verb all over my face."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? Ye think it be the R but it really be the C!"

"Today i convinced my brother for a full minute that the Beatles wrote ""blackbird"" about Batman"

"What's the most common career choice among spiders? Web development"

"It's great to see that the French finally grew a pair of balls and took down a German Aircraft... but the war ended 70 years ago"

"She: ""I am expecting..."" Me: ""Whoa! Congrats."" She: ""...someone at 3."""

"Maybe your parents told you a watched pot never boils so you wouldn't go around sticking your face near boiling water, idiot."