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Joke of the Day

"what did the call the time travelling cyborg who had a weak bladder urinator"

"INTERVIEWER: It says here you can communicate telepathically? ME: IN: Is this an ability you have always had? ME: IN: Please say something."

"What's black on the bottom and white on the top? Society."

"What's the difference between ""choice"" and ""choose?"" ""Choice"" is your ability to make decisions, ""choose"" are what Mexicans put on their feet."

"What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly? Incorrectly."

"A man walks into a bar... ...with a gun, and shouts, ""Who fucked my wife, I'm gonna kill him!"" Another man at the bar turns around and says ""You ain't got enough bullets mate!"""

"If I had a dollar for every time I was wrong, I'd be incredibly broke."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Hippies screw in vans."

"What's Jesus' Favourite gun? A nailgun"

"Why did Ray Bradbury use heated lube? It was a pleasure to burn."