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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time I was wrong, I'd be incredibly broke."

"Why can't you explain puns to kelptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally."

"Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail. ^-- ^Ed ^Byrne"

"Note to self: in future, put stripper in novelty oversized cake AFTER baking."

"They told us to get in formation So, I started investigating."

"What is the hardest part about playing soccer? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"Why was the tree stretching? So it could be timber!"

"Facebook: People trying to save the world one uneducated post at a time"

"What's the definition of perfect pitch? Throwing a banjo into a dumpster and hitting an accordion with it."

"Hopefully ""researching tweets"" will hold up in a court of law when the prosecution presents my google search history as evidence."