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Joke of the Day

"I'm still not convinced Mitt Romney was born."

"Damn girl, did you fall from heaven? Cause you're Satan."

"Two women are sitting quietly..."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a lane and turned into a field..."

"Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States? He was Snowden."

"When the cleaning lady say's ""Have a good night"", I try to time it so we say it in unison. Then I say our ""You too"" response in harmony."

"I want to start a towing company. I'll name it Jaques Crew Tow."

"Mark Twain used to travel with a podium from his hometown. Ah yes, his Hannibal Lectern."

"You know how light travels faster than sound? Thats why some people seem bright until they speak."

"999 The devil's in the handstands."