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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a lane and turned into a field..."
Next Joke
"Fortune Teller recruitment Come if you are accepted for the job"
"""Oh, are you driving?"" -Good question to ask someone as they force you into their trunk"
"If I had a dollar for every gender that there is... If I had a dollar for every gender that there is, I'd have 2 dollars."
"Why was the Easter Egg so happy? He just got laid by some chick!"
"The barman says ""We don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."
"*sees cute doctor in scrubs* *falls over* HELP! I need mouth-to-mouth! Doc: ... Me: Aren't you obligated to help? Husband: GET UP!"
"Meteorologists have recently reconfigured the 5 categories of hurricane. Number 5 will blow you away."
"I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your ""scary"" battle at Normandy, grandpa."
"What's the rule for Twitter crushes? So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms."