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Joke of the Day

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant."

"Romantic movies taught me that you always have to walk out after a big argument so that 6yrs later you can meet by chance and get married."

"What did the large furry mammal say when the salamander who kept asking for favors went too far? I can't bear it! You axolotl of me this time!"

"Babies are like tattoos. They're yours forever and maybe wait a few days before posting pictures of them so they're not all gross looking."

"Customer: I'd like to try on that bathing suit in your front window. Saleswoman: I'm sorry, ma'am, but you'll have to use the dressing room."

"Do you know what would happen if you'd freeze someone to -273.15 degrees Clesius? That person would be 0K Edit: Just noticed that I flopped the title. :("

"What did Ghost A say to Ghost B? Nothing because ghosts don't exist. Edit:Holy crap I just realized I didn't post this on /r/antijokes."

"I met a girl with 12 nipples once... Sounds funny Dozen tit"

"How do you sink a norwegian submarine? You knock on the door. How do you sink the same sub again? You knock on the door and they'll come out saying ""Haha! We're not falling for that one again!""."

"Never trust an atom. Actually, it's probably fine. They only make up about 4% of everything."