50545

Joke of the Day

"What did the rock say when he had to leave his girlfriend for a long time? I pumice I'll come back soon!"

"What did the Italian man who was feeling under the weather say when asked if he was attending the office Christmas party? No, I'm a Sikh."

"So, being ironically stupid is funny... But being an Ironic Sociopathic Murderer is still being a murderer? I'll never get people sometimes."

"How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer? ...you put the duck in the microwave on high until it's Bill Withers."

"Did you hear what happened to the computer programmer? His wife told him, ""while you are out, buy some eggs."" He never came back."

"What do you call a criminal jazz player? Felonius Monk!"

"I remember the Christmas my son got me my first DVD. It was a rental...6 days overdue. And we didn't even have a DVD player!"

"My wife sure is picky for someone who married me."

"Identify a superhero: You see him flying: Superman If you see him climbing: Spiderman If you see him swimming: Aquaman If you see him exploding: Musulman"

"I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed... How could anyone stoop so low?"