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Joke of the Day

"I remember the Christmas my son got me my first DVD. It was a rental...6 days overdue. And we didn't even have a DVD player!"

"what's the difference between light and hard you can sleep with the light on"

"What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid? Gotta lay off the sea-weed."

"Your mom reminds of bricks She's constantly getting laid by Mexicans."

"Gonna start a matchmaking site for very old people called Carbon Dating"

"Donald Trump has begun work building a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. It's called the wetback setback."

"Leaving a warm bed on a cold morning is my personal hell."

"Haikus have three lines Sometimes they don't make much sense Refrigerator."

"[me on phone with mechanic] Car won't start. I think it's the battery. Or power steering. Could be a fuse. Wheels, probably wheels. Engine."

"How do the Kardashians tell a joke? They get Kim to talk slowly to him."