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Joke of the Day

"So, being ironically stupid is funny... But being an Ironic Sociopathic Murderer is still being a murderer? I'll never get people sometimes."

"Mom: You should come camping with us! It's only $100! Me: You want me to pay $100 to sleep outside? Mom: Yeah. Me: I'm getting a new Mom."

"Why do traffic lights turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!"

"I wish you were my big toe So I could bang you on my coffee table"

"Why did I throw my phone out of my window? Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane..."

"What was the last phone call made from the Twin Towers? An order for two large plains."

"Some people say I dream too much, I say it's just because my life is better than their dreams are."

"""Anyone can be funny... But I can make you hilarious!"" -Marijuana"

"If 1 in 5 Women get raped Then why don't they just travel in packs of fours?"

"I keep wanting to make a BDSM joke... ... but I keep getting tied up in the punchline."